I expect this Quest to help me to change my self-love deficit paradigm into a balance of self-love and love for others. I
have been a people pleaser since childhood. As an adult, I attracted narcissistic men as boyfriends, and even married a covert narcissist! He died after 11 years of marriage, but I continued to attract a couple more boyfriends with narcissistic tendencies.
Recently, I learned to identify the narcissistic characteristic, but I still had that strong urge to sacrifice my needs for the wants of others. Not only in my romantic relationships, but in my career as a nurse. I worked as a staff nurse, in middle management, back to staff. In middle management, I found that I was unable to confront strong-willed subordinates and client families with their poor behavior. Even as a staff nurse, I allowed boundary violations.
Now that I'm over 50 years old, my blood pressure started to get high. Over the years I've tried several natural remedies/ cures, but no consistent, satisfactory results. I've been slim all my life, and have kept better than average health habits. People say I look like I'm in my 30's. But I'm realizing more and more that my high BP is stress-related, accumulated over the years. My older body is not able to mediate my cortisol levels. I even got a RESPeRATE unit to lower my BP. It guides me through a slow breathing rate of less than 10 BPM for 15 min. I was supposing that this is a form of breath meditation. I have not had positive results after several months on an almost daily basis. So I'm willing to learn this different way of practicing meditation. My measurable goals are not only lowered stress and BP, but being able to form, communicate, and defend my boundaries effectively.
have been a people pleaser since childhood. As an adult, I attracted narcissistic men as boyfriends, and even married a covert narcissist! He died after 11 years of marriage, but I continued to attract a couple more boyfriends with narcissistic tendencies.
Recently, I learned to identify the narcissistic characteristic, but I still had that strong urge to sacrifice my needs for the wants of others. Not only in my romantic relationships, but in my career as a nurse. I worked as a staff nurse, in middle management, back to staff. In middle management, I found that I was unable to confront strong-willed subordinates and client families with their poor behavior. Even as a staff nurse, I allowed boundary violations.
Now that I'm over 50 years old, my blood pressure started to get high. Over the years I've tried several natural remedies/ cures, but no consistent, satisfactory results. I've been slim all my life, and have kept better than average health habits. People say I look like I'm in my 30's. But I'm realizing more and more that my high BP is stress-related, accumulated over the years. My older body is not able to mediate my cortisol levels. I even got a RESPeRATE unit to lower my BP. It guides me through a slow breathing rate of less than 10 BPM for 15 min. I was supposing that this is a form of breath meditation. I have not had positive results after several months on an almost daily basis. So I'm willing to learn this different way of practicing meditation. My measurable goals are not only lowered stress and BP, but being able to form, communicate, and defend my boundaries effectively.