7 years married to a man who I thought would be my forever love, sharing our son together, I woke up one day realizing my life was not my own. it had been molded to fit into a structure of old traditions and cultural expectations.
My biggest strength (and also my initial biggest motivation for staying in the marriage) was for my son. One story said "Stay married for the sake of your son. you do not want your son to be raised from a broken family" The new story that finally allowed me to break away was "Get out of this marriage for the sake of your son. What kind of example are you setting for him by allowing him to grow up witnessing the way his father treats his mother- what kind of person are you if you allow him to replicate his father and one day treat another woman the way you have been treated?"
I was starting to spiral into depression and anxiety at this point. I had visions of myself hanging myself to escape this life. I had a perfect picture of life. Business. Husband. Son. Friends. Family. Material Assets. All those people on the outside would desire. I had painted such a beautiful picture of my life that I felt too deeply invested to leave. The only thing was this deep sense of panic, unease and increased unhappiness that I was starting to feel every single morning when I woke up. THIS ISN'T the life I want.
Lifebook has allowed me to begin the beautiful huge steps to get crystal clear that "My life is MINE". That I am not here to "Fit in", but rather to "Fit-out". I am not the 95-99% of people who are still living life "Asleep". I am AWAKE. I can never go back there. I will never allow myself to go back there. I have forged a new identity. I am now so clear on how I want to live in all 12 categories of my life. IT is a lot, but it is worth it. It is my life and I unapologetically live it on my terms.