"I learned that forgiveness is about setting yourself free"
Conscious Uncoupling

"I learned that forgiveness is about setting yourself free"

Divorce felt like a marathon that my husband unexpectedly and suddenly signed us up for. 
Exhausting and I was totally untrained for this (and frankly wasn't looking to run a marathon - I did believe in the Happy Ever After). I was left to be a single mom of three and spend years trying to find my 'mojo' back. I had written a book on having to divorce and midlifecrisis, had done many sorts of therapy and coaching but needed just something more to be able to really move away from it and show up for myself. I'd heard of Katherine's book Conscious Uncoupling when my husband had just left us, but at that time, I just was not ready to give up on the HEA yet. I wanted to save the marriage more than anything. However, now, after three years of living my own life and being legally divorced halfway 2019, I needed to make a final step to be able to fully embrace my own life again, to be able to open myself up for new relationships and to step out of being stuck in my proces. 
Healing really is all about moving forward to better places. When this course came along, it was just the right time. Each exercise helped me find new perspectives on the divorce and challenged me to look at my own part in it. I did the quest on my own, as my ex and I no longer really communicate, even if I do wish him well and am now able to thank him for what he has taught me - about him and about myself. I found the tribe incredibly helpful (all these people running the same marathons!) and a place of comfort when I felt down or sad. It helps to know that out there, in real time, people all over the world are experiencing the same thing and getting it. I loved how Katherine taught us not to take a victimized stand on things even if what happened, was not fair. I learned that forgiveness is about setting yourself free instead of saying 'what you did is okay'. I learned to look at my three percent or more in taking responsibility for how the relationship had evolved and that I myself was the one who had allowed myself to be treathed the way I was. I learned about setting healthy boundaries and about loving myself through this process and addressing my source fracture wound - something I had also learned about in other therapies, but the reminder was welcome. I was even finally able to completely delete my chathistory with him, and to get rid of final stuff he had left behind, clearing our house of this energy. 
The quest was helpful in getting me to walk just those last miles that I needed to in order to finish this marathon. And the good thing? I didn't need to walk it alone.

Marlies Slegers

Writer

Ulvenhout, Netherlands

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