My wife and I started our family later in life; my daughter was born two years ago when I was 46.
Waiting this long afforded us the opportunity to reflect on the type of parents we wanted to be; having gone through this quest I can happily say that our instinctual philosophy with which we have chosen to raise our child is very much in alignment with the underlying message of this quest.
As my daughter is still young, some of the types of conflicts discussed in the quest we have not experienced; however the teachings of Dr. Shefali have better equipped us to deal with these challenges in the years ahead.
The foundational take away from this is to be fully present when interacting with your child; it sounds so obvious and perhaps easy but it definitely takes practice in our distraction filled lives.
Also, the idea of allowing the child to feel their feelings with support but without interference, and to be a role model in this was a great lesson to learn and has radically changed the way I approach my daughter in these situations.
Another big realization was that all of children's (and arguably adults) "bad" behaviour is masking an unmet need in that person. As parents we need to approach children with that mindset and be open to finding a constructive way of fulfilling that need.
The idea of conscious boundary building and relying on natural consequences of one's actions (instead of parent imposed consequences) has been a revolutionary mind shift in the way I 'protect' my child
Thank you Dr Shefali for all your wonderful teachings :-)