"I’ve begun to realize that I’ve never truly lived by my own rules even after becoming an adult"

I am a 70-year-old divorced mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically and culturally abused Black woman living once again in the small Ohio town in which I was born after 40 years of working basically unsatisfying survival income jobs in California that supported me, a couple of different non-contributing, insincere significant others, several leaching family members, and two unappreciative kids from my first marriage. The roles I played were mindboggling. My 1960’s Catholic School education provided no life-skills for the real world nor did an inflexible home life of being responsible for two younger siblings for my single-parent mother. We all had different fathers. I’ve been searching to make sense out of my life most of my life. Thanks to the Live By Your Own Rules MindValley Quest with Kristina Mand-Lakhiani, I’ve begun to realize that I’ve never truly lived by my own rules even after becoming an adult. The 1950’s to 1980’s American Society and Catholic Church’s mind control and brainwashing forced irrelevant, irreverent, and self-serving rules and beliefs on me that never really sat well with my spirit. As a result, I’ve been searching for some significant meaning to the pain and confusion of my life for most of my life. After completing Live By Your Own Rules, I think I’m finally on the right path to understanding. I’m taking several Mindvalley Quests and so far I’ve learned that I can forgive my younger self for not knowing what was happening to me and around me. And, I can forgive myself for not knowing what I was doing to myself and others in my life. This is a huge start. I’m still wrestling with what and who I want in my future, but at least now I know the rules I live by will be my own.