I had just finished a cold immersion breathwork retreat in Iceland and a day later the Habit of Ferocity began so I didn’t have much time for expectations. Steven was on my radar as I had a keen interest in flow states. Being ADHD I had been exploring ways to hack my neurochemistry, control my attention better and access true states of flow but with inconsistent results until doing this course.
And while the HOF course is primarily focused on learning foundational peak performance, it does touch on the different pre conditions to achieve a true state of flow. By doing the daily exercises, stepping out of my comfort zone and engaging with the community I started to look at my wiring from a unique angle.
I found the exercise on identifying ones passion and purpose through the intersecting of curiosities probably the most stimulating... literally. And it was as a result of connecting with how I felt in that moment after witnessing the natural release of dopamine in my circuity.
But the real game changer for me was taking action facing my biggest fears head-on.
Take public speaking for instance; I have a learning disability, ADHD and deep insecurities resulting from my past. These together have created a resistance and lack of belief in my ability to speak my mind especially in public. On this quest I published my first recorded video to the community which allowed me to get comfortable speaking in front of strangers and soon after I built up the confidence to do a live broadcast. After a de risking exercise I thought it would be good idea to get on stage and share a personal story to over 100 people. This was a wonderful disaster! Wonderful in the sense that I actually got up on stage…. disaster in that I forgot my lines. It was one of the most terrifying feelings that I have ever encountered. I decided at the very last minute to ditch my script and just speak from the heart. And while I still cringe looking back I know I’ve gotten over the most difficult hurdle.
You see throughout my life I have developed a very high expectation of what I perceive to be good work. This means, when I start to write or create something, my work never seems to live up to my expectations. I can’t seem to be content with what I believe will accurately convey my message. What this has taught me, is that perhaps my procrastination on my passion projects, or things I really want to do, is because of my unrealistic high expectation. My own challenge is simply too high for my skills.
Since skill can be acquired through grit and practice, one of the most significant learnings for me on this quest, means that I can ultimately experience that sense of flow in areas I feel anxiety towards. And for me, that means starting to vulnerably put myself out there. Forcing and pushing myself past imperfections and anxiety. In the hope of reaching that state of stimulation and control, more consistently. This way I believe I will learn and develop my public speaking and writing skills, and perhaps one day, be able to bring my thoughts out in a natural state of flow.
Through the Habit of Ferocity Quest and the amazing support of the compassionate tribe members I approach things now with a different mindset. And although I’m still figuring out my life purpose I feel I’m on the right path now thanks to the way this course is structured and people that make it happen.