Before a year i had the worst kind of days. You know the days when you feel like "why the fuck is it morning already". You feel like everything is happening against you. So I had my business partner cheat me in business and money. I was devastated with my spiritual life and had almost lost all faith in my own original self. I was , if not entirely, extremely depressed and hopeless with such great degree of low self esteem and confidence. I had a break up with the person whom I thought and assumed to have a great future of marriage with. I was jobless and frustrated. My music was cut off from a movie I composed for even without my knowledge that i sat like a complete ass of a person watching the movie being screened and not being able to hear my music in it.
I opened up to my family about my miserable childhood and they rejected all of my pain on my face saying that it was all self pity and they even dared to say that i was making up stories to get sympathy. My father ignored my existence for almost 100 days. This was such a fucked up feeling to be in after you have just opened up about yourself to your loved ones. I was devastated. Like literally devastated. Procrastination became my second nature and mental inertia was my best friend. I stopped all healthy habits and became so depressed and would literally shut myself in my room for days. There is more to say but what i really want to mention is that I somehow begged and borrowed enough money for my mindvalley all access and I subscribed after watching some of the great free Masterclasses. Like I said procrastination became my second nature and to get through any of the quests was almost impossible for be because even if i would push away procrastination , my best friend, mental inertia would kiss me on my forehead and put me back to my miserable self that i was living with. I have gone past just 5 days, less than a week, of only some of the Mindvalley quests. BUT, i kid you not.
Something happened. Even though i wasn't completing any of the quests, not a single fucking one, yet, I started seeing shifts happening from the last week of december, 2019. The change was small yet very very, fucking very, evident. What was that? The lifebook that i opened 6 months ago was opened by me every week. and then that reduced to opening it every 3 days. Wait, im still fighting the victim self of me now. But hey, as Jim Kwik says, i see progress. And this is progress to me. I am on my quests more often. More regular to the things i am to be doing in my life. Oh and this is a BIGGIE. I am beginning to understand the nature of FEAR and i am questioning the very Fear that I have feared all this long. Now this wasn't like a spell from the harry potter book as i was not even close to being even a tad bit consistent, But I see progress. Positive progress. A progress that is giving me back my real self to myself. A self that i know was full of joy , compassion , energy and love. A self that i have missed for so long. I CAN'T EVEN PUT IT IN WORDS HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME. Like Literally. I love myself and if I am proud of anyone in this whole world its me whom i am proud of the most. This is what I was and this is exactly what i apparently lost. And this is exactly what i am getting back.
I can't thank Vishen enough for this. I resonate with him so much because the very organisation i started was to revolutionise education, health and food. And how wonderfully Mindvalley has been able to do this to such a vast extent and in a unique way.
I opened up to my family about my miserable childhood and they rejected all of my pain on my face saying that it was all self pity and they even dared to say that i was making up stories to get sympathy. My father ignored my existence for almost 100 days. This was such a fucked up feeling to be in after you have just opened up about yourself to your loved ones. I was devastated. Like literally devastated. Procrastination became my second nature and mental inertia was my best friend. I stopped all healthy habits and became so depressed and would literally shut myself in my room for days. There is more to say but what i really want to mention is that I somehow begged and borrowed enough money for my mindvalley all access and I subscribed after watching some of the great free Masterclasses. Like I said procrastination became my second nature and to get through any of the quests was almost impossible for be because even if i would push away procrastination , my best friend, mental inertia would kiss me on my forehead and put me back to my miserable self that i was living with. I have gone past just 5 days, less than a week, of only some of the Mindvalley quests. BUT, i kid you not.
Something happened. Even though i wasn't completing any of the quests, not a single fucking one, yet, I started seeing shifts happening from the last week of december, 2019. The change was small yet very very, fucking very, evident. What was that? The lifebook that i opened 6 months ago was opened by me every week. and then that reduced to opening it every 3 days. Wait, im still fighting the victim self of me now. But hey, as Jim Kwik says, i see progress. And this is progress to me. I am on my quests more often. More regular to the things i am to be doing in my life. Oh and this is a BIGGIE. I am beginning to understand the nature of FEAR and i am questioning the very Fear that I have feared all this long. Now this wasn't like a spell from the harry potter book as i was not even close to being even a tad bit consistent, But I see progress. Positive progress. A progress that is giving me back my real self to myself. A self that i know was full of joy , compassion , energy and love. A self that i have missed for so long. I CAN'T EVEN PUT IT IN WORDS HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME. Like Literally. I love myself and if I am proud of anyone in this whole world its me whom i am proud of the most. This is what I was and this is exactly what i apparently lost. And this is exactly what i am getting back.
I can't thank Vishen enough for this. I resonate with him so much because the very organisation i started was to revolutionise education, health and food. And how wonderfully Mindvalley has been able to do this to such a vast extent and in a unique way.