I did not get the Holobody journey I wanted... but I got the Holobody journey I needed. Two reasons why I started this course: 1) I'd trained as a life coach 11 years ago and hadn't got business off the ground. I was attracted by the possibility of practicing my coaching skills again, with a view to relaunching my business. 2) I'd released 60 pounds of weight through WildFit and thought that Holobody might be the next step in releasing the last pounds and getting strong. My dad had been very ill for the last 6 months and I'd regained some weight due to increased hospital visits and supporting my mum. When that situation had settled down, I found I was all out of my food routine and back into some bad habits.
The first coaching module went really well and I was pleased to discover that my skills weren't forgotten! I was also doing another course at the same time and about 4 weeks into Holobody, I had to go to England for a residential course. I spent 2 weeks preparing for it and one week there and I got quite behind in my Holobody course. This was right around the start of the baseline of health and I was scrambling to catch up.
I have always been a conscientious student and I was struggling with being behind. And I was getting frustrated with myself that I seemed to rebel against the healthy, whole-food meals and baseline exercises. It was so weird - it was as if EVERYTHING within me simply refused to engage. There was no inner dialogue, just absolute silence. So, I was leaving meals until I was too hungry and then I'd go and buy something to fire in the oven. Or I'd go and buy a large bag of crisps. There was no inner dilemma, no, I'd just buy them and eat the whole lot.
Wait! What the heck is happening here? I'm supposed to be getting better in this sphere, not worse! Upon deeper inspection, I discovered that because I was so judgmental of myself - being behind, not eating right, not choosing right, not exercising at all, ALL my life - it's as if I'd disassociated from myself. I'm no psychologist, so maybe there's a better term for it, but it's as if the inner me was sooooo weary of being judged and criticized ALL the time, that she refused to play at all.
So, I used a lot of affirmations to counteract that judgmental thing in me, instead fostering acceptance and oneness and I partnered them with powerful essential oils to anchor the new beliefs in. After a few weeks, I saw real progress. I walked out of my room and saw my reflection in the mirror across the hall - my hips were DEFINITELY wider (all the poor food choices were catching up, and my clothes were tighter) and I thought, 'Darn, I look good!'. That was a totally new feeling! I was finally starting to accept myself.
I still have that extra weight on. But I keep holding to that beautiful phrase that Ronan used: 'You can accept your body as it is AND wants to have a new experience in it'. So, I'm building trust with my body and with myself. I'm engaging in much more positive and engaged inner dialogue.
I'm planning to offer a course for similar, middle-aged women who have unwittingly wrecked their self-worth and self-trust by continually judging themselves and their appearance as not good enough. I only want to take the class to the baseline of health as personally, I feel I'd need nutritional/fitness instructor training to go much further than that but also, I'm not interested in that level of health. I'm super interested in my clients getting free from the shackles of self-rejection and the vicious circle of poor choices.