After a pretty absurd start to my adult life (agreeing to marry an older Australian man I’d only known a month when I was only 18 years old because his visa had run out and he desperately didn’t want to go back to Australia) that lead me down a 25 year tangent of coping with his alcoholism and drug addiction that I knew wasn’t good for me but I literally didn’t know how to consult my own truth, or how to represent myself, I have learned the very hard way how important it is to be deeply authentic and to learn to listen to the thoughts beneath the thoughts and the feelings beneath the feelings.
While I have steadily turned my life around over the last 8 years, like setting a big ship slowly on a new course, I was dealt a shattering blow nearly 4 years ago that absolutely pulled the rug out from under me.
I knew I was at choice point and I remember sitting one day and saying to myself, “ I refuse to let this corrupt my heart. It would be so easy to tip into a narrative made of bitterness, regret, resentment and disillusionment. But I do not want to become the person I would have to become to live with all that going on inside me. No matter what it takes, I choose to walk the road of forgiveness, of mending, of healing, of transformation and of love.
Against the odds, and literally everyone’s advice, I have walked along that ‘road less travelled’ and slowly but surely mended, healed and forgiven so that the issues really do seem to have evaporated like the morning mist.
However, my father died in October, I nursed him full time myself for 3 months so that he could die at home - this was a truly profound experience.
What I didn’t see coming was another major curve ball from my kids over Christmas which again pulled the rug out from under me. I started the year in a state of shock first which gave way to immense grief, grief over my father initially, haunted by the memory of his tears as I played him his favourite singer on the penultimate day of his life as he slowly accepted that his time had come, through to an absolutely engulfing grief of finally accepting that my 4 kids have flown my nest, and my 30 years of devotion and dedication had somehow come to a seemingly abrupt end. I now know the meaning of being grief-stricken. The umbilical wrench, of releasing them on every level inside me to go live their lives, with or without me around, has taken me by total surprise. I sobbed my way through most of January in amongst a stew of sorrow, loss and bewilderment at the turn of events.
But throughout this time, I have listened to the LifeBook lessons and felt the wisdom and truth seep into my soul. I have basked in the role model of how immensely nourishing a relationship can be in watching Jon and Missy’s rapport together each week. I have searched inside myself, asked myself questions I had dared not really ask before….. and listened to the answers (!), and little by little, just like the birdie building her nest, I have crafted my own LifeBook chapters.
In the process I have felt myself slowly coming into right relationship with myself. I started out in January literally torturing myself with remorse and crucifying myself with self-punishment. But little by little, like a seed germinating and finding its way towards the light, I can feel my spine gradually feeling straighter, stronger, my head ever so slightly held higher as a sense of self-esteem begins to kindle and grow inside me like gestating a new life, literally. With each LifeBook lesson, I dismantle the old narrative and give myself permission to reimagine a new way of being, a new way of relating, to myself, to my children, to the world at large, without the heavy backpack of history weighing me down.
I find myself feeling distinctly lighter and with that, my mind freer from the crushing narrative that was playing like a broken record since the New Year, to be suddenly able to imagine other possibilities, to dare to reach for a different life. And the funny thing is, that it’s not about reaching for a different life on the outside, but a different life on the inside.
The raw materials for much of what the LifeBook journey has shown me that I want, that is most dear to me, are all around me. But by changing my life on the inside, by coming into a more nourishing right relationship with myself, I can feel a upswell of forces rising up from within, strange unfamiliar forces like courage, courage to do, courage to be, courage to express, courage of my convictions, courage to dream; self-belief, whether or not others believe in me; imagination and creativity to liberate the scope of my vision; calm and patience, suddenly knowing viscerally that the journey really is as important, as delicious even, as the destination; and the sweetest of all…… a little well-spring of dignity and self-worth is tangibly bubbling up from somewhere deep within.
So, while I have beavered away so hard for the last 8-10 years on the outside, to raise my 4 kids on my own, and against the odds help them have awesome educations and raise us all out of the poverty trap, to gain my degree in Chinese Medicine, my masters in Chinese Herbal Medicine, to conduct research on Classical Chinese Medicine in China, to specialise in womens’ health, to manage my legal campaign single-handedly myself without a barrister to be granted back our family home and small farm by the courts (albeit with a total waiver for any support from the kid’s dad in recognition of the fact that he was never going to be able to offer any support anyway due to his addictions), to renovate the farmhouse after it was run into the ground by him during our absence, start restoring the 60 acres, and at the core of all that, woven throughout, take the most soul destroying betrayal but actually, through keeping an open heart, an open mind and resolute commitment to living by the principle of forgiveness, come through it genuinely stronger for it, I had forgotten to tend to myself on the inside.
But the Lifebook programme has shown me that all that grit really can be the stuff that makes a pearl of you. Once you work on the grit of your outmoded core beliefs and Premises, fashion more intelligent and inspiring ones to move forward with, cultivate the habit of being imaginative and creative with your Visions, get real about and aligned with your Purpose and hone the kind of Will required to action sensible, joined-up, congruent Strategies – then sure enough, you begin to transform all that grit into a truly beautiful pearl.
Now, I am looking forward to cultivating a new adult family life with my children, of finding really inspiring ways to span the oceans and countries between us, and in the meantime, I plan on loving their childhood home ‘back to life’, so that hopefully, it can gradually become a really awesome place for us to have family reunions and special gatherings.
Meanwhile, since finishing the LifeBook programme, bizarrely, (although not really surprisingly!) Life is already beginning to reflect the inner shifts I have been making. It’s amazing how the more aligned we are, the more the ripple effect from our thoughts, intentions and actions ripple across the web of life more effectively.
In the past week I have had numerous incidences of people and unsolicited conversations affirming to me that my little 60 acre homestead is ripe and ready as a place that can support the flourishing of human potential in the West Cork region. I see how Mind Valley and Lifebook have been such a potent force to galvanise a real shift in consciousness all around the world. Equally, I observe that this corner of South West Ireland - West Cork – is a unique part of the world, where the ancient ways of The Elders (who hark from a more innocent and traditional era than most Old Timers alive today) rub shoulders with a generation that is surprisingly fresh, innovative and pure of heart. I’ve travelled much of the world and have yet to find a region quite like it. I feel such a calling to bring the spirit of such a paradigm shifting movement such as Mind Valley and LifeBook to the local level and grass roots movement that is emerging here. I want to create a little oasis where human potential can be really explored, flourishing can be really supported, healing on all levels can be profoundly met and community collaboration can be really harnessed.
The raw materials I have to work with is my little 60 acre homestead that has been organic and rewilding for the past 30 years. I have a site overlooking the Seithe Mountains ready to be built on. I have a strong vision to create a beautiful space with a training hall, accommodation, treatment suites and garden sanctuary to create a hub where people can train and learn together, inspire and be inspired, grow and evolve together, think-tank and innovate together, laugh, bond, renew and heal together, set in amongst extensive medicinal herb gardens with a full dispensary of natural medicine for bespoke Chinese Medicine prescriptions. (Among other things I aim to raise awareness of the viability of natural medicine generally and Chinese Medicine specifically to be a the norm for primary care for those that want a more holistic way of caring for themselves and their families). And I have a whole lot of good-natured determination, vision with a dynamic capacity for focussed action, an easy-going but astute character – I am self-directed, earnest and resilient but equally happy to work in a team, to collaborate and to lead or follow as appropriate. I know I bring a lot of human resources to the table plus a healthy measure of raw resources. But I love nothing more than imagining the impossible and then setting about grounding that into reality – and this time, now with my kids all flown the nest, I have nothing to lose – I can go all out in a more daring, bold and courageous way than I ever could before while single parenting my kids. I have raised 4 kids on my own, and each of them are pretty extraordinary people in their own rights and budding careers, which gives me a small bit of confidence to know that I am not just talk, I mean business, I’m sincere and I am whole-hearted in how I live and work.
All of this is just to try and impress on you than I really really really wish to be considered for your one-to-one coaching prize. I started out this programme borrowing the money to do it, with a solemn promise to get the refund and pay it straight back. I have renegotiated with my lender friend to extend the loan – I have absolute faith that in saying ‘Yes’ to the mastery programme, I am saying to ‘Yes’ to Life, to my Lifebook, to all that I know I have the potential to contribute and offer, but a life of single-parenting has taken it’s toll on my self-esteem, my income-earning and my confidence. I mean to change all that – I mean to do all it takes to re-wire those programmes and seize the day.
Above all, I would so so sooooooooooooo love to work with Missy – I have fallen in love with you guys this past 6 weeks and you have become like friends hanging out in my living room with me each week! But Missy, I see you – I see the empowered, gorgeous, soulful woman you are – I recognise a Soul Sister when I see one – and I would love love love to work with you in any coaching way possible to find a way to help build, nurture and support the groundswell of extraordinary women that are emerging worldwide – some tentatively, some bounding in, but all with something super special to bring to these times we live in. Women are such an awesome, often unsung heart-beat at the centre of families, of communities, of voluntary services – and yet the Feminine is what will most help us navigate our way through these challenging times. So, for every woman who finds her voice and truth, who finds the power of her kindness, who harnesses her feminine strength, who discovers her capacity to bridge differences – you have a queen in her hive creating benevolent impact in her world.
What do I need?
I need to surround myself with quality mentors, with people whose values I share, with inspiring and honest role-models I can really learn from and grow with. My biggest area of weakness is finances and the self-belief to change that wiring. Whether by somehow earning it, borrowing or attracting Angel Benefactors/Investors, I plan on creatively finding ways to source the capital and funding I need to turn this little 60 acre patch of extraordinarily magical Ireland into a centre for excellence in natural healthcare and create a truly inspiring treatment, training and retreat centre, that can help bring people back into right relationship with themselves, with their families, loved ones and communities and by being in nature in a more profound way here, back into right relationship with planet we all need to take such good care of.
I’m ready to transform. I’m ready to become the savvy, innovative, courageous, sassy woman I know I have it in me to be. I’m ready to learn how to work with the energy of money and wealth as a creative force and to cultivate my ability to generate the income and funds I need to match my somewhat ambitious and bold vision. I’m ready to unleash all the goodness that is in me to be the potent force for positivity and goodwill that I know it is. I’m ready to take each blessed day I have and live it as intelligently, as lovingly, as congruently, as inspiringly, as effectively, as soulfully and as beautifully as I can.
Life is for living.
Life is for loving.
Life is an art and I’m ready to become an artist of Life.
Working with you guys, who I have taken so deeply into my heart these past 6 weeks, would be …… well, a total game changer.
Game on, I say!
Love you both xxx
While I have steadily turned my life around over the last 8 years, like setting a big ship slowly on a new course, I was dealt a shattering blow nearly 4 years ago that absolutely pulled the rug out from under me.
I knew I was at choice point and I remember sitting one day and saying to myself, “ I refuse to let this corrupt my heart. It would be so easy to tip into a narrative made of bitterness, regret, resentment and disillusionment. But I do not want to become the person I would have to become to live with all that going on inside me. No matter what it takes, I choose to walk the road of forgiveness, of mending, of healing, of transformation and of love.
Against the odds, and literally everyone’s advice, I have walked along that ‘road less travelled’ and slowly but surely mended, healed and forgiven so that the issues really do seem to have evaporated like the morning mist.
However, my father died in October, I nursed him full time myself for 3 months so that he could die at home - this was a truly profound experience.
What I didn’t see coming was another major curve ball from my kids over Christmas which again pulled the rug out from under me. I started the year in a state of shock first which gave way to immense grief, grief over my father initially, haunted by the memory of his tears as I played him his favourite singer on the penultimate day of his life as he slowly accepted that his time had come, through to an absolutely engulfing grief of finally accepting that my 4 kids have flown my nest, and my 30 years of devotion and dedication had somehow come to a seemingly abrupt end. I now know the meaning of being grief-stricken. The umbilical wrench, of releasing them on every level inside me to go live their lives, with or without me around, has taken me by total surprise. I sobbed my way through most of January in amongst a stew of sorrow, loss and bewilderment at the turn of events.
But throughout this time, I have listened to the LifeBook lessons and felt the wisdom and truth seep into my soul. I have basked in the role model of how immensely nourishing a relationship can be in watching Jon and Missy’s rapport together each week. I have searched inside myself, asked myself questions I had dared not really ask before….. and listened to the answers (!), and little by little, just like the birdie building her nest, I have crafted my own LifeBook chapters.
In the process I have felt myself slowly coming into right relationship with myself. I started out in January literally torturing myself with remorse and crucifying myself with self-punishment. But little by little, like a seed germinating and finding its way towards the light, I can feel my spine gradually feeling straighter, stronger, my head ever so slightly held higher as a sense of self-esteem begins to kindle and grow inside me like gestating a new life, literally. With each LifeBook lesson, I dismantle the old narrative and give myself permission to reimagine a new way of being, a new way of relating, to myself, to my children, to the world at large, without the heavy backpack of history weighing me down.
I find myself feeling distinctly lighter and with that, my mind freer from the crushing narrative that was playing like a broken record since the New Year, to be suddenly able to imagine other possibilities, to dare to reach for a different life. And the funny thing is, that it’s not about reaching for a different life on the outside, but a different life on the inside.
The raw materials for much of what the LifeBook journey has shown me that I want, that is most dear to me, are all around me. But by changing my life on the inside, by coming into a more nourishing right relationship with myself, I can feel a upswell of forces rising up from within, strange unfamiliar forces like courage, courage to do, courage to be, courage to express, courage of my convictions, courage to dream; self-belief, whether or not others believe in me; imagination and creativity to liberate the scope of my vision; calm and patience, suddenly knowing viscerally that the journey really is as important, as delicious even, as the destination; and the sweetest of all…… a little well-spring of dignity and self-worth is tangibly bubbling up from somewhere deep within.
So, while I have beavered away so hard for the last 8-10 years on the outside, to raise my 4 kids on my own, and against the odds help them have awesome educations and raise us all out of the poverty trap, to gain my degree in Chinese Medicine, my masters in Chinese Herbal Medicine, to conduct research on Classical Chinese Medicine in China, to specialise in womens’ health, to manage my legal campaign single-handedly myself without a barrister to be granted back our family home and small farm by the courts (albeit with a total waiver for any support from the kid’s dad in recognition of the fact that he was never going to be able to offer any support anyway due to his addictions), to renovate the farmhouse after it was run into the ground by him during our absence, start restoring the 60 acres, and at the core of all that, woven throughout, take the most soul destroying betrayal but actually, through keeping an open heart, an open mind and resolute commitment to living by the principle of forgiveness, come through it genuinely stronger for it, I had forgotten to tend to myself on the inside.
But the Lifebook programme has shown me that all that grit really can be the stuff that makes a pearl of you. Once you work on the grit of your outmoded core beliefs and Premises, fashion more intelligent and inspiring ones to move forward with, cultivate the habit of being imaginative and creative with your Visions, get real about and aligned with your Purpose and hone the kind of Will required to action sensible, joined-up, congruent Strategies – then sure enough, you begin to transform all that grit into a truly beautiful pearl.
Now, I am looking forward to cultivating a new adult family life with my children, of finding really inspiring ways to span the oceans and countries between us, and in the meantime, I plan on loving their childhood home ‘back to life’, so that hopefully, it can gradually become a really awesome place for us to have family reunions and special gatherings.
Meanwhile, since finishing the LifeBook programme, bizarrely, (although not really surprisingly!) Life is already beginning to reflect the inner shifts I have been making. It’s amazing how the more aligned we are, the more the ripple effect from our thoughts, intentions and actions ripple across the web of life more effectively.
In the past week I have had numerous incidences of people and unsolicited conversations affirming to me that my little 60 acre homestead is ripe and ready as a place that can support the flourishing of human potential in the West Cork region. I see how Mind Valley and Lifebook have been such a potent force to galvanise a real shift in consciousness all around the world. Equally, I observe that this corner of South West Ireland - West Cork – is a unique part of the world, where the ancient ways of The Elders (who hark from a more innocent and traditional era than most Old Timers alive today) rub shoulders with a generation that is surprisingly fresh, innovative and pure of heart. I’ve travelled much of the world and have yet to find a region quite like it. I feel such a calling to bring the spirit of such a paradigm shifting movement such as Mind Valley and LifeBook to the local level and grass roots movement that is emerging here. I want to create a little oasis where human potential can be really explored, flourishing can be really supported, healing on all levels can be profoundly met and community collaboration can be really harnessed.
The raw materials I have to work with is my little 60 acre homestead that has been organic and rewilding for the past 30 years. I have a site overlooking the Seithe Mountains ready to be built on. I have a strong vision to create a beautiful space with a training hall, accommodation, treatment suites and garden sanctuary to create a hub where people can train and learn together, inspire and be inspired, grow and evolve together, think-tank and innovate together, laugh, bond, renew and heal together, set in amongst extensive medicinal herb gardens with a full dispensary of natural medicine for bespoke Chinese Medicine prescriptions. (Among other things I aim to raise awareness of the viability of natural medicine generally and Chinese Medicine specifically to be a the norm for primary care for those that want a more holistic way of caring for themselves and their families). And I have a whole lot of good-natured determination, vision with a dynamic capacity for focussed action, an easy-going but astute character – I am self-directed, earnest and resilient but equally happy to work in a team, to collaborate and to lead or follow as appropriate. I know I bring a lot of human resources to the table plus a healthy measure of raw resources. But I love nothing more than imagining the impossible and then setting about grounding that into reality – and this time, now with my kids all flown the nest, I have nothing to lose – I can go all out in a more daring, bold and courageous way than I ever could before while single parenting my kids. I have raised 4 kids on my own, and each of them are pretty extraordinary people in their own rights and budding careers, which gives me a small bit of confidence to know that I am not just talk, I mean business, I’m sincere and I am whole-hearted in how I live and work.
All of this is just to try and impress on you than I really really really wish to be considered for your one-to-one coaching prize. I started out this programme borrowing the money to do it, with a solemn promise to get the refund and pay it straight back. I have renegotiated with my lender friend to extend the loan – I have absolute faith that in saying ‘Yes’ to the mastery programme, I am saying to ‘Yes’ to Life, to my Lifebook, to all that I know I have the potential to contribute and offer, but a life of single-parenting has taken it’s toll on my self-esteem, my income-earning and my confidence. I mean to change all that – I mean to do all it takes to re-wire those programmes and seize the day.
Above all, I would so so sooooooooooooo love to work with Missy – I have fallen in love with you guys this past 6 weeks and you have become like friends hanging out in my living room with me each week! But Missy, I see you – I see the empowered, gorgeous, soulful woman you are – I recognise a Soul Sister when I see one – and I would love love love to work with you in any coaching way possible to find a way to help build, nurture and support the groundswell of extraordinary women that are emerging worldwide – some tentatively, some bounding in, but all with something super special to bring to these times we live in. Women are such an awesome, often unsung heart-beat at the centre of families, of communities, of voluntary services – and yet the Feminine is what will most help us navigate our way through these challenging times. So, for every woman who finds her voice and truth, who finds the power of her kindness, who harnesses her feminine strength, who discovers her capacity to bridge differences – you have a queen in her hive creating benevolent impact in her world.
What do I need?
I need to surround myself with quality mentors, with people whose values I share, with inspiring and honest role-models I can really learn from and grow with. My biggest area of weakness is finances and the self-belief to change that wiring. Whether by somehow earning it, borrowing or attracting Angel Benefactors/Investors, I plan on creatively finding ways to source the capital and funding I need to turn this little 60 acre patch of extraordinarily magical Ireland into a centre for excellence in natural healthcare and create a truly inspiring treatment, training and retreat centre, that can help bring people back into right relationship with themselves, with their families, loved ones and communities and by being in nature in a more profound way here, back into right relationship with planet we all need to take such good care of.
I’m ready to transform. I’m ready to become the savvy, innovative, courageous, sassy woman I know I have it in me to be. I’m ready to learn how to work with the energy of money and wealth as a creative force and to cultivate my ability to generate the income and funds I need to match my somewhat ambitious and bold vision. I’m ready to unleash all the goodness that is in me to be the potent force for positivity and goodwill that I know it is. I’m ready to take each blessed day I have and live it as intelligently, as lovingly, as congruently, as inspiringly, as effectively, as soulfully and as beautifully as I can.
Life is for living.
Life is for loving.
Life is an art and I’m ready to become an artist of Life.
Working with you guys, who I have taken so deeply into my heart these past 6 weeks, would be …… well, a total game changer.
Game on, I say!
Love you both xxx