This vacuum and "beautiful destruction" left me with equal parts fear and optimism.
How would my family perceive my external passivity, despite the work I decided to undertake deep down?
What will my friends think of me who are "further along" in the societal roadmap of life?
Where would this take me, both within and in the outside world?
The reason I enrolled in this quest is that I wanted to peel off the layers and discover my true essence.
Like everyone else in the tribe, I recognized that I was not the most optimized version of myself, and that I had to discard the expectations I set for myself, based on the perceptions of those closest to me. I had to surrender.
The areas in my life in which I have noticed the greatest change are my overall awareness of an infinite field of energy, clarity in my unique purpose, and an increased emphasis on gratitude for what I already have. Our minds are programmed to focus on lack, but we often don't realize that until we tune our perspectives. The simplicity of positive affirmations and questions is so impactful. That's what this quest has done for me.
There is so much more to each of us that we cannot identify through our basic senses. I never thought of the universe as a field of endless abundance and one that was actually on our side - if you grant it permission. This new mindset was a huge revelation and has sparked new and improved behaviors that now feel completely natural. I forgive myself for not getting here sooner. I am humble about my present and ambitions for the future. I believe in myself and the power of the process. I am grateful for the finest details. I don't complain as much.
Each day is a new journey of surprise (satori) and delight. The greatest reward, however, is noticing how this higher vibrational frequency has been felt by those closest to me, and understanding that it is not just a temporary phase of novel inspiration but rather a sign of permanent growth and mindfulness.