My husband and I were married for 35 years and ran a successful restaurant and skate shop together during most of that time. Yet at the 30-year mark, things began to unravel. My husband stopped enjoying the business, started treating employees badly and using marijuana to tune out. I tried to hold on, but in the end we lost our business, got divorced, had to sell our house and lost $500,000. I was angry and hurt and I hated him for abandoning me in our time of need.
Yet, once I became willing to stop blaming him and tried instead to see my part in what had happened, my feelings of anger waned as I began to understand how my fear, negativity and chronic nagging had contributed to everything that happened, and all that we lost. I was finally able to forgive him when I recognized how much I had been hyper-focusing on his darkness, rather than seeing his light and the many positive qualities he brought to our relationship.
Now five years later, I am with a new man and I make it a daily practice to look in the mirror and take responsibility for the success of my life and my new business, rather than blame anyone for what they are, or are not doing. I also now make it a habit to see and appreciate the best in people, especially during the hard times. For the first time in my life, I feel empowered and free, both in my career and in my love life, which is blossoming and overflowing with happiness!