Greatest takeaway from this quest has been becoming comfortable with my feelings within myself. I generally do not feel the need to explain myself too much, and this quest has been challenging me to talk on this forum. I always believed that the people who matter will understand, and I still partially believe that. So I kept everything unspoken. I don't enjoy talking about myself and my feelings, like I am burdening people when I do talk about myself, so I tend to keep everything within me. (EGO) that's also why my posts are generally short and sometimes not personal. Through this quest I have become comfortable with being honest about my feelings especially to my son. He in turn has shown greater affection for me and even towards my husband.
My days are not filled with guilt of not entertaining my child, making his life perfect for him. I now relax and don't feel the dread I used to feel when I fetched him from school, because I was always feeling sad for him about how isolated we were in a foreign country away from my home. I now feel at ease, and the guilt I had in my heart for doing this to my son has lifted. We play more and have more laughs, something which before this quest I yearned for but didn't know how to bring into my relationship with my son who loves to laugh and be funny.
I felt emotionally blocked like the only emotion I could feel was sadness and anger, and now I am slowly starting to feel more affection for my husband and son and compassion for myself, there is a lightness in my heart which I haven't felt in years. I also now feel responsible in a good way for my reality.