The day before I was let go (department downsizing), I said to a colleague "I don't know how I would be able to work full time and go to school." I thought it was funny that I had said what I needed, then it happened.
In that year, I was painfully broke, my part-time bartending job was now full time, my income was not stable, I let bills go unpaid, I went to school and didn't perform to the best of my ability, I suffered mentally.
At the beginning of the year, I made plans to get myself financially stable, my boyfriend was supportive, but my chaos slowly started to wear on him, and he eventually broke up with me... DURING THIS QUARANTINE. I was alone and drinking more than I ever had. I spent days sending out my resume to hospitals, doctors offices, I signed up for online training programs to earn a skill to make sure I was of value to any HR. I spiraled, grieving the end of my beautiful partnership- my future, I was still so in love with this person. We made a commitment to one another, it felt like everything we shared was for nothing. Then I got angry, and everything changed.
I found a new career that encompassed everything I love, and it was taking me miles upon miles away from everyone I know and love. It felt good, it feels good. My ex and I finally spent time together, a lot of my most burning questions were answered. We were open, honest and loving like we've always been. We both don't know how to navigate friendship, and while he's sad that I'm leaving, and won't be a 15 minute car ride away- he is happy and supportive for this next phase of my life. He also said he would visit.
Since that meeting, I've slept more peacefully. I'm re-aligned with my purpose, for me and me only. Utilizing what I've learned from Vishen's book, and seminars- along with my weekly therapy has made me feel more grounded and whole. I'm present. I'm woke. It feels like I needed the world to stop to focus and tap into the intuition that I have ignored for the last 10 months.