At the beginning of this program, I considered myself to be quietly a confident person surrounded by people I love and relatively satisfied in my work. I was however desperate to try and work out how I could retire early (I have 17 years!!) as I feel I have so much I want to do with my life, but can't see how this is possible with working and my personal responsibilities etc. I support my son with his disabilities and this takes much of my time outside of working. I also am responsible for helping my daughter renovate her house, she is young and together we have learnt lots of things, such as cementing, fixing leaks, climbing ladders to paint the upstairs windows. Both of my children need my support a great deal. I considered that retirement was my only option for me to enjoy any time for myself and my husband.
Thanks to the program, I have totally shifted my perspective, the happiness in the now has provided me with a way of accepting and working around what is now. I am sleeping so beautifully, I now wake up refreshed and energised at 5am, this means most days I have 3 hours to myself, for meditation, exercise, mindvalley or anything I want. I am also much better at coping with challenges, such as when my son didn't want to eat for a week. I am calm, patient and ask more questions rather than emotionally getting affected. This I feel has helped our relationship and defiantly me. I have also needed to help his care team calm and approach things differently with him.
During this quest I have also realised that I wasn't as confident as I though before hand, with work I am much more relaxed when I have to tell people things they don't want to hear, or to share my opinion. I am just going about my day, engaging with my clients, accepting and supporting them, I now know how competent I am and I feel this shines through with those who I support. I am enjoying my job much more, I am much quicker at all of the boring admin which is involved also, so much so that I have regular breaks. During these breaks I am going for bike rides, popping for a walk on the beach or having lunch in the garden. I feel I am getting the job done well, more efficiently and enjoying it much better. I now feel lucky with my work and am not in a rush to retire.
Now my life is so much more about me and less about everyone else. This is not to say I have stopped caring for those I love, I still am present and available as always, perhaps more so, as I am not thinking about what I need to do next while with them or talking to them etc. I realise my daughter calls me less times per day, but when she does we speak for longer and its nice. My son will invariably continue to have challenges, but I am managing them better and we have fun together. My husband has been saying for years that I need time to do things for myself, he knows everyone else's needs were first and I would rush to fit in 'me' like an after thought. He has seen the difference, he likes it, we have deep conversations, have been out in the garden star gazing even, I usually would say I'm tired and need to get up early for work, but not anymore. I am grasping the now and look forward to what's next. I am still going to keep prioritising me and maybe my dreams (of setting up a retreat for people and families affected by TBI) will come to me in the future. I can not thank you enough Vishen and Mindvalley :-)