Before starting Holobody, I was very frustrated with my life and body. I have always been a person who has not had to put effort into maintaining a healthy-looking body. I had kept a weight of 60 kilograms since being a teen.
I had a very active lifestyle. I coached netball and basketball in my local town and had a cleaning business that was very physically demanding. I had abundant energy! Living close to the beach, I walked there most days with my children as we sought out shells and talked through the highlights and lowlights of their day at school.
In my partner's opinion, I was too attractive. My biggest body issue was his paranoia about other men who he felt were always looking at me or trying to make a move on me - his concern was relentless and meant that we had more and more of a limited life so that I could avoid him having an outburst in public. It was very disruptive to our relationship.
I had a very active lifestyle. I coached netball and basketball in my local town and had a cleaning business that was very physically demanding. I had abundant energy! Living close to the beach, I walked there most days with my children as we sought out shells and talked through the highlights and lowlights of their day at school.
In my partner's opinion, I was too attractive. My biggest body issue was his paranoia about other men who he felt were always looking at me or trying to make a move on me - his concern was relentless and meant that we had more and more of a limited life so that I could avoid him having an outburst in public. It was very disruptive to our relationship.
About 15 years ago, that all changed when I contracted a mosquito virus somewhere on the southwest coast of Java during a family holiday.
After months of tests and visits with various eastern and western health practitioners, I was convinced I was dying. No one could tell me what was wrong. No one could diagnose me with a condition, so I had something I could give a name to and deal with. No one could help me.
After months of tests and visits with various eastern and western health practitioners, I was convinced I was dying. No one could tell me what was wrong. No one could diagnose me with a condition, so I had something I could give a name to and deal with. No one could help me.
I didn't want to live my life like this. I didn't want to take the medication path of anti-depressives and painkillers that seemed to be the only thing the medical professionals could recommend. I knew for sure that I didn't feel depressed. I felt physically in pain and depleted. I had lost my energy and was slowly losing my will, but I had children who needed me. I needed to search for my answers to find out why my body was failing me.
For almost six months, I was virtually bedridden. I would need to push myself to my limit to bathe in the morning or try and prepare dinner for my family. I slept endlessly, which was so unlike me. I had to rely heavily on my children and partner for support to get the most basic house duties done. I lost the business I so proudly built up and felt I had let my partner down because we had another business together, which he was now trying to handle singlehandedly.
I cried a thousand tears in those days, worried about my future and what this would mean for the children. I felt selfish because, as a mother, I wasn't giving enough. I felt I was letting everyone down and missing so much of my life before I was sick.
I eventually found an acupuncturist who gave me some relief. His treatment gave me hope and a reminder of what my body could be capable of. I saw him daily, spending money I hadn't budgeted for. I just had to continue to go back because he continued to give me hope. After every session, I could move. Each time I went, I could move more and more. After visits with him, I had some capacity to walk for 10 minutes and show my body I could do things again. In time, I could independently drive to my next acupuncture appointment (I wasn't sure if I would ever drive again). His office was less than 10 minutes from my home, and this felt like the most incredible achievement. Things started to improve from there, and I could do more for my family.
Something else changed at that time. Due to my new life being restricted to the little movement, I had gained weight, almost 10 kilos, for the first time.
My partner no longer thought every man was looking at me, and my life became more manageable with him. Though it's hard to believe, this positively impacted our relationship and reduced many tensions that had caused so much trouble for us in the past. On a subconscious level, weight gain gives me security and relief from fighting with my partner, whom I genuinely loved with all my heart and soul. While I felt less attractive to him, I was happy we were no longer fighting about everyone he thought was trying to angle for my affection, whether they were or not. Being overweight was serving me.
Fast forward to now, I have separated from him after 28 years together. While we have parted amicably, I thought I would shed weight and get back to my former self. Over the years, I gained a significant amount of weight and felt very uncomfortable in my skin.
That didn't happen, and in the time I have been alone, I have realized my disappointment and disgust in how my body now looks.
I needed some significant help and support. Holobody seemed the answer, although I was terrified that this was far beyond my capability. I thought the only way I would stick to something was to go all in, and this was it. I would be putting myself into personal debt and sacrificing for this course, so I needed to make it work. It was the answer to keep me committed and earn this certification - primarily for myself - I didn't see myself in a position to help others.
There have been several occasions I need to catch up on this journey. There have been even more when I have felt this is too big for me and that I made a mistake in going all in.
Only through the recorded sessions and Fran's insisting we don't give up have I decided (a hundred times over) not to quit and to keep going. Body Talk was the other factor that kept me going. I have been so critical and hard on my body. I forgot how incredible we are as humans and everything I had to be grateful for. I no longer feel disappointment or shame at my size and shape. I am just thankful my body has been so good to me that I intend to honor her for the rest of my life.
I have found the racing mode to be one of the most challenging things I have ever done. In saying that, I am also planning to do it again because I feel much more ready now than I did when I first attempted it.
This is the first time in my entire life I have lost weight. It hasn't been significant, but it is noticeable, especially to me. I have energy stores that I haven't experienced for a lifetime, and I sleep better than I have in years.
I now walk every day. I also focus on standing rather than sitting as much as possible. I have even been so lucky to have been gifted a watch that tells me my steps and moves through the day and my sleep patterns at night - it is further motivation to keep going!
I am eating much healthier - because I want to recognize that I still have a journey ahead. Through this, I can help others.
I have enjoyed coaching Hannah as my test run, and she has been excellent. I have been bumpy every step of the way, but she is still keen to continue with me to see where this journey will lead her.
I also have a friend who has Type 2 Diabetes. He has encouraged me throughout my journey and is open to getting involved to see how the learnings and experience can be applied to his health. I genuinely hope I can support him in reaching his audacious goal of reversing type 2 diabetes in 2023. I have set myself and some goals, and we have a milestone beach holiday planned for July 23 to mark a milestone and celebrate our progress together! I understand I have a lot to learn, but I am excited about the future for the first time in a long time.
For almost six months, I was virtually bedridden. I would need to push myself to my limit to bathe in the morning or try and prepare dinner for my family. I slept endlessly, which was so unlike me. I had to rely heavily on my children and partner for support to get the most basic house duties done. I lost the business I so proudly built up and felt I had let my partner down because we had another business together, which he was now trying to handle singlehandedly.
I cried a thousand tears in those days, worried about my future and what this would mean for the children. I felt selfish because, as a mother, I wasn't giving enough. I felt I was letting everyone down and missing so much of my life before I was sick.
I eventually found an acupuncturist who gave me some relief. His treatment gave me hope and a reminder of what my body could be capable of. I saw him daily, spending money I hadn't budgeted for. I just had to continue to go back because he continued to give me hope. After every session, I could move. Each time I went, I could move more and more. After visits with him, I had some capacity to walk for 10 minutes and show my body I could do things again. In time, I could independently drive to my next acupuncture appointment (I wasn't sure if I would ever drive again). His office was less than 10 minutes from my home, and this felt like the most incredible achievement. Things started to improve from there, and I could do more for my family.
Something else changed at that time. Due to my new life being restricted to the little movement, I had gained weight, almost 10 kilos, for the first time.
My partner no longer thought every man was looking at me, and my life became more manageable with him. Though it's hard to believe, this positively impacted our relationship and reduced many tensions that had caused so much trouble for us in the past. On a subconscious level, weight gain gives me security and relief from fighting with my partner, whom I genuinely loved with all my heart and soul. While I felt less attractive to him, I was happy we were no longer fighting about everyone he thought was trying to angle for my affection, whether they were or not. Being overweight was serving me.
Fast forward to now, I have separated from him after 28 years together. While we have parted amicably, I thought I would shed weight and get back to my former self. Over the years, I gained a significant amount of weight and felt very uncomfortable in my skin.
That didn't happen, and in the time I have been alone, I have realized my disappointment and disgust in how my body now looks.
I needed some significant help and support. Holobody seemed the answer, although I was terrified that this was far beyond my capability. I thought the only way I would stick to something was to go all in, and this was it. I would be putting myself into personal debt and sacrificing for this course, so I needed to make it work. It was the answer to keep me committed and earn this certification - primarily for myself - I didn't see myself in a position to help others.
There have been several occasions I need to catch up on this journey. There have been even more when I have felt this is too big for me and that I made a mistake in going all in.
Only through the recorded sessions and Fran's insisting we don't give up have I decided (a hundred times over) not to quit and to keep going. Body Talk was the other factor that kept me going. I have been so critical and hard on my body. I forgot how incredible we are as humans and everything I had to be grateful for. I no longer feel disappointment or shame at my size and shape. I am just thankful my body has been so good to me that I intend to honor her for the rest of my life.
I have found the racing mode to be one of the most challenging things I have ever done. In saying that, I am also planning to do it again because I feel much more ready now than I did when I first attempted it.
This is the first time in my entire life I have lost weight. It hasn't been significant, but it is noticeable, especially to me. I have energy stores that I haven't experienced for a lifetime, and I sleep better than I have in years.
I now walk every day. I also focus on standing rather than sitting as much as possible. I have even been so lucky to have been gifted a watch that tells me my steps and moves through the day and my sleep patterns at night - it is further motivation to keep going!
I am eating much healthier - because I want to recognize that I still have a journey ahead. Through this, I can help others.
I have enjoyed coaching Hannah as my test run, and she has been excellent. I have been bumpy every step of the way, but she is still keen to continue with me to see where this journey will lead her.
I also have a friend who has Type 2 Diabetes. He has encouraged me throughout my journey and is open to getting involved to see how the learnings and experience can be applied to his health. I genuinely hope I can support him in reaching his audacious goal of reversing type 2 diabetes in 2023. I have set myself and some goals, and we have a milestone beach holiday planned for July 23 to mark a milestone and celebrate our progress together! I understand I have a lot to learn, but I am excited about the future for the first time in a long time.
I have a much better relationship with my body and soul. I finally believe in myself - I can complete something challenging and get to the end. I can achieve my dreams! I am beyond grateful for having access to such incredible people at Mindvalley and for participating in such an amazing experience with you all.