"I now want to honour the feminine me and my sovereign self"

Up until the last few years I’ve worked among men on construction sites and it’s really worn me down because I’ve been really poorly accepted. 
I now want to honour the feminine me and my sovereign self, and develop an authentic connection with the dying and journey with the dying, and develop a ceremony that celebrates the feminine. I’m not sure what or how but it’s my calling after my mother’s death journey.