Jim and Elizabeth, both in their early 30’s, had been together for eight years when they entered counseling. Jim felt he was continually trying to offer his wife emotional support, but that his efforts were misconstrued and harshly judged. Jim’s efforts to provide comfort seemed only to irritate her. In turn, he’d respond with frustration and anger, leading her to withdraw and sink ever deeper into despair.
Couple therapy sessions were used with Energy Medicine approach [and] Jim became less panicked, more resourceful, and more patient when Elizabeth was feeling upset. As self-soothing became an option for Elizabeth, she no longer felt the same desperate need for Jim to assuage her despair or the intense anger when he didn’t come through. Ironically, as is often the case, with Jim feeling less pressure from Elizabeth, he became much more effective in comforting her. Now that his overtures of support could be accepted and appreciated when they were needed, what had been a thorny obstacle to their intimacy became instead a source of bonding.
