After years of not being able to find rewarding work, mounting debt and the inability to pay my bills, I filed for bankruptcy after I was laid off from a job that was nothing more than a paycheck. I was underpaid and undervalued. It was actually a relief to be let go. But the unemployment process was exhausting and beyond frustrating because I have not had a "steady" job in a typical work environment. I had taken a yoga teacher training in 2007, and went back to school during the downturn of the US economy in 2008-2010. My husband and I separated after many struggles, but I started to recognize the power of yoga, and its transformational gifts that inspired me to be a health and lifestyle coach. I went deeper into my yoga studies after I found my master teacher. I had mapped out a plan for my life, and where I would live. I've paid thousands of dollars to other healers and coaches to help me grow, heal and move forward. But there remain blocks on realizing my dreams. I left the US to find a fresh start in a new country, and have suffered some setbacks since I got here. I spent almost 2 months sick in bed - sicker than I've ever been in my life. I recognized this as a somatic purge of all the emotional toxicity that I'd been carrying around for years over not having my dreamlife realized. Now I see that I still want to teach yoga, and still want to travel the world and teach for both are my true passions. I am still in need of money to do the work, living in the countryside and there is no place to teach nor is there an audience. People are caught in their own survival mentality, classes or coaching are not in the top 20 of priorities. I recognize that I am better off to go to a bigger city, and not get stuck in the countryside. The economics of this transition are glaring. I see that I am still challenged by some blockage at the 1st chakra.
My dream is vividly clear, and while I am not attached to where I live to teach, it is yoga that I want to teach. I am also embracing the late-blooming artist that wants to be seen and released. I have dabbled in a number of different aspects of creation and expression, I believe this is part of why yoga calls to me so loudly. But there is the actual artistry of using my hands and eyes to create that I am yearning to set free and explore where I've never gone before. I am quite happy spending hours a day on my work, and then feel the pull of looking for a job that will pay my way to another living arrangement. I am here, by divine providence, with 2 very dear friends. Their kind generosity has paved the way for me to land in their home. I work a few hours a day on their property, I cook and clean to varying degrees. But the biggest, most unexpected challenge is the energy drain of my very negative friend. She is like a sister to me, and she has been very kind and good to me over the years of our growing friendship. Her husband is like a lost soul mate, and I treasure his friendship deeply. However, she spends hours a day obsessing over all the non-mainstream media stories about US politics. We are on the same page about the travesty of what is unfolding, but I am unable to listen to the endless doom and gloom. I feel the negative energy, and have tried to explain its impact on her own system, as well as my own, and that the energy drain is very unhealthy. It is like drug addiction, and it saddens me greatly. I have been working on a way to express this further, and remain calm without being judgmental. We are not in the same place about spirituality and this is my go-to for inspiration, support, and clarity. But she wants nothing to do with it. She sees the end of the world from climate change and accepts that the end is near. I am not denying climate change, but I am also not looking to see the world through the lens that she keeps holding up. It is very clear that I need to manifest some work so that I can move, and start teaching as soon as possible. I suspect that as the political climate for elections continues, the atmosphere in this house will become even more toxic. I spend a lot of time in silence and pray for her peace and calm. With my own energy balancing, I anticipate that I will be better equipped to deflect her energy and counter it with my own stronger vibrations. I look forward to learning about all of this. With Peace and Bright Blessings of Light and Love, Namasté, María
My dream is vividly clear, and while I am not attached to where I live to teach, it is yoga that I want to teach. I am also embracing the late-blooming artist that wants to be seen and released. I have dabbled in a number of different aspects of creation and expression, I believe this is part of why yoga calls to me so loudly. But there is the actual artistry of using my hands and eyes to create that I am yearning to set free and explore where I've never gone before. I am quite happy spending hours a day on my work, and then feel the pull of looking for a job that will pay my way to another living arrangement. I am here, by divine providence, with 2 very dear friends. Their kind generosity has paved the way for me to land in their home. I work a few hours a day on their property, I cook and clean to varying degrees. But the biggest, most unexpected challenge is the energy drain of my very negative friend. She is like a sister to me, and she has been very kind and good to me over the years of our growing friendship. Her husband is like a lost soul mate, and I treasure his friendship deeply. However, she spends hours a day obsessing over all the non-mainstream media stories about US politics. We are on the same page about the travesty of what is unfolding, but I am unable to listen to the endless doom and gloom. I feel the negative energy, and have tried to explain its impact on her own system, as well as my own, and that the energy drain is very unhealthy. It is like drug addiction, and it saddens me greatly. I have been working on a way to express this further, and remain calm without being judgmental. We are not in the same place about spirituality and this is my go-to for inspiration, support, and clarity. But she wants nothing to do with it. She sees the end of the world from climate change and accepts that the end is near. I am not denying climate change, but I am also not looking to see the world through the lens that she keeps holding up. It is very clear that I need to manifest some work so that I can move, and start teaching as soon as possible. I suspect that as the political climate for elections continues, the atmosphere in this house will become even more toxic. I spend a lot of time in silence and pray for her peace and calm. With my own energy balancing, I anticipate that I will be better equipped to deflect her energy and counter it with my own stronger vibrations. I look forward to learning about all of this. With Peace and Bright Blessings of Light and Love, Namasté, María