I signed up for the Conscious Uncoupling quest on Mindvalley after finding it too painful to read Katherine Woodward Thomas's book of the same name (I was too upset to read much of anything, really).
Though the quest was a daily reminder of my grief and loss, I'm so glad I did it.
For me, this program was a 35-day process of accepting acceptance itself; accepting that the end of my relationship was, despite my delusions, over, and that my grief would be a process with which I'd have to be incredibly patient (not my strong suit).
Since reality is where we can affect the most change, I allowed the daily lessons of the quest to place me there, to pull me back from denial, the endless reviews and rewrites of old conversations, and focusing on my former partner.
Katherine's program brought me back to myself, whether I liked it or not. Her wisdom helped me see my part in the dissolution of the relationship I held so dear and mapped a road for the forgiveness of both myself and my ex.
While I'm not quite ready to forgive him, I did come to a place of personal peace about the whole situation. After the end of the quest, I made a conscious decision to end my grieving, wish my former partner a happy new year, and move back into caring for myself.
From this place of peace, I can now focus on peace in my house, peace with my friends, peace in my work, and peace in the world. Without it, all is chaos. I got tired of that.
I recommend this quest to anyone suffering from their thoughts and feelings about a fresh breakup, or an old one that still nags you.
Love is worth the pain of these lessons. You are worth the great, satisfying love you desire and deserve.
When you come to see the recurring patterns of your relationship dynamics, you can do something to change course for the better. I've come to see that grief is a wave machine. It has it's own mind, body, and timeline. So, I know I'm not done with my grief about this great loss. Sometimes I still catch myself trying to fix the past, ask my ex-partner why why why, and cry my head off for 5 minutes. That's ok. A broken heart is an open heart.
This quest has led me to see that. Now I can give all that love I once reserved for my former love back to myself, and those in my life.
This program also reminded me that our long relationships are sacred, and should, when possible, be treated as such. There's so much potential in that concept; it's expansive rather than constricted. It allows for our best to come forward, which is best for everyone. In the end, or even the middle, love is more important than anger.