"Programs like Quantum Jumping opened my mind to the possibility that identity is not fixed and that even after years of darkness, a man can rebuild himself from the inside out"

My life before transformation was chaos disguised as survival.

As a child, I was deeply curious about the world. I asked questions about everything — people, emotions, reality, consciousness, suffering, and the meaning behind life itself. I always wanted to understand more deeply than what was visible on the surface.

But instead of being understood, I was often silenced.

I grew up surrounded by alcohol, emotional instability, fear, and violence. Safety never truly existed in my environment. From a very young age, I learned survival before I learned emotional security.

Somewhere deep inside, I always felt different.

I discovered very early that I was gay, but I was terrified of rejection and judgment. Imagine being a young boy trying to survive emotionally while also hiding who he truly is from the world.

So I started building armor around myself.

Even tattooing myself became part of that armor. Deep inside, I believed that if I covered myself in tattoos, I would become stronger — as if they could protect me from pain, rejection, vulnerability, and the emptiness I carried inside.

At 14 years old, I was already going to clubs in Sopot. I entered nightlife very early, trying to escape emotions I did not yet understand.

At the same time, I always fought for something bigger. When I was younger, I trained Latin American dance professionally. Movement, expression, energy, and freedom became one of the few places where I felt alive.

But life became heavier and darker.

At 18, I became infected with HIV without fully realizing it at the time. For years I lived disconnected from myself, constantly chasing validation while internally collapsing.

My addictions slowly took control over my life.

Alcohol and drugs stopped being an escape and became my everyday reality. At my worst, drinking two bottles a day felt normal. Every morning started with a line, a drink, emotional numbness, and another attempt to silence the chaos inside my mind.

For years, I was also trapped in chemsex culture — using substances together with sex as a form of escape, stimulation, validation, and temporary emotional numbness.

What at first felt like freedom slowly became another form of self-destruction.

Behind it was not pleasure, but emptiness.

At 19 years old, during Christmas Eve, I slept in a car during winter after being thrown out of my home.

That moment stayed inside me forever.

Still, life was never only darkness.

There was a moment when everything looked perfect from the outside. I had the greatest love of my life. I bought a house. I worked for T-Mobile and achieved first place in Poland in Samsung phone sales performance.

For a moment, it felt like I had escaped the chaos.

But after losing that relationship, everything collapsed again.

My life turned upside down.

I stopped caring about myself. I did not finish paying my debts. I lost direction completely. For nearly five years, I barely worked and fell into deep depression while pretending to the world that everything was fine.

Inside, I was collapsing.
 Outside, I smiled.

Eventually everything reached a breaking point.

On April 13th, I attempted suicide because I genuinely believed there was no way forward anymore.

Then something unexpected entered my life.

Mindvalley.

At first, it was only a spark — a different philosophy, a different perspective, an idea that maybe transformation was still possible even for someone like me.

But slowly, something inside me started changing.

Programs like Quantum Jumping opened my mind to the possibility that identity is not fixed and that even after years of darkness, a man can rebuild himself from the inside out.

And one of the most powerful experiences for me became SOMA Breath.

The breathing techniques helped me reconnect with myself in a way I had never experienced before. For years my nervous system lived in survival mode — stress, addiction, anxiety, emotional chaos, numbness, and pressure.

Through rhythmic breathing, breath retention, sound, and altered states of awareness, I finally experienced moments of silence inside my mind.

For the first time in years, I felt present.

And what makes this journey even more meaningful is that none of it came easily.

My English was poor. Many times I barely understood the lessons or materials. I was making screenshots of almost everything, translating sentence by sentence, word by word, trying to understand concepts that felt far beyond the life I was living at that moment.

But I refused to give up.

I was learning everything from my phone, with almost nothing around me except chaos, uncertainty, and the feeling that life had already defeated me.

Still… deep inside, I believed there had to be something more waiting for me.

That hunger to understand life, consciousness, technology, systems, and human potential slowly became stronger than my addictions and my past.

Slowly, my perception of reality changed.

Instead of seeing only destruction, I started seeing patterns, systems, adaptation, intelligence, and possibility. I became deeply interested in AI, consciousness, adaptive systems, and the connection between technology and human transformation.

And the craziest part?

I started rebuilding everything with almost nothing.

No stable home.
 No money.
 Only a phone, determination, curiosity, and the belief that something bigger was waiting for me.

Today, I stand in conversations connected to technology, AI, and systems thinking that normally require privileged beginnings, elite networks, or enormous resources.

I started with nothing.

Just survival, pain, curiosity, and the refusal to surrender.

And somehow… that became my power.

I have seen both extremes — the very top and the absolute bottom.

And honestly?

There is nothing beautiful at the bottom.

I was there.

That is why today I no longer romanticize destruction.

I choose consciousness.
 I choose growth.
 I choose rebuilding.
 I choose becoming.

Because for the first time in many years…

I truly believe my story is not over.