It was May 3rd, 2022, and I was checking myself into a Veterans Affairs PTSD residential treatment facility. I was desperate to get help and save my family. I was married, and had two children, a girl, and a boy; they were my life. Unfortunately, I was consumed with PTSD and depression. I was not able to be the husband or father I had always dreamed of. Two weeks into my treatment, the unthinkable happened. My wife said the four words I never wanted to hear; I want a divorce. I tried to express my desire to stay together but it was too late. She was gone. Keeping in line with the discipline the military instilled in me, I stuck out the treatment. When I finished and returned to the town where I was living, I had to get a hotel and bounced around until my parents let me take their RV. My wife almost immediately got a protective order against me and wouldn’t allow me to see or talk to my children. It was the absolute lowest point in my life.
I had two choices to make, drown myself in alcohol, drugs, and sex, and probably eventually take my own life, or become an absolute savage for personal growth and development. I chose the latter. I started reading every book I could find on trauma and healing. I started researching Eastern medicine. I started looking for God. I was not going to roll over and die. I was going to be in my children’s life and be a true father to them.
I grew up in violence and chaos, and despite my greatest efforts, I carried that trauma into my chosen family. To compound that trauma, I joined the military and special operations community; eventually deploying 15 times. However, I was not going to let my past define my present and future any longer.
During a research session, I came upon this ceremonial medicine called Ayahuasca. I was never the type to try this type of healing because of the “hippie” stigma. But desperate times called for desperate measures. To my disappointment, every website I found said there were no ceremonies being held in the US because of the Covid-19 pandemic. I was disappointed but just kept searching for other growth opportunities.
No more than a week later, I received a Facebook message from an old Army buddy who I deployed with several times. We had largely lost contact, but he had started a non-profit organization called the Wounded Healer Project, and upon seeing a post about his work I donated a small amount to it (what I could pull together). Despite the small donation amount, he reached out and thanked me. We started talking and shortly after he told me how the sacred plant medicine Ayahuasca changed his whole life. I immediately perked up and told him I had just done some research about it while I was searching for healing. The universe knew exactly what I needed because he told me his friend held ceremonies in Colorado and there was one coming up, he was planning on attending, and he would get me a spot.
About a month later, in November, I flew to Colorado. It was great to see my friend again, and I could immediately see he was different. He had brightness about him, and I could see and feel his energy. This was a fraction of what I was about to experience. I attended a two-day ceremony; I won’t go into all the details in this short story, but my life was forever and unequivocally changed.
I describe it as the impenetrable vault I had locked myself away in from the inside out, was not only opened, but it was like a nuclear warhead hit it directly in the center, and absolutely obliterated it. I was alive, for what I can definitively say, the first time. I felt so much love I was overwhelmed. This experience supercharged my desire to continue my healing and growth.
As is the way of the universe, or what I now call God, very shortly after arriving home I was unwinding for the day by scrolling through Facebook and saw a video from a company called Mindvalley. It described a program called the Silva Ultramind. I was so intrigued I bit the bullet, pulled out my credit card, and became a yearly member. The program quite simply changed my view on consciousness. It was another huge shift in my life and opened me further to a world I had never believed.
I can’t explain why Facebook was used so much in this journey, because I had never been a social media person. I had only created the account after my wife left me. I hadn’t had any social media for more than seven years. But once again, as I was scrolling through, I saw the Mindvalley video for a life coach certification course. I attended the seminar that explained what it was, and I just knew I had found my life purpose.
Before this, I was simply chasing titles and money, and I was successful in the career paths I had chosen, but I was never fulfilled. It was hard for me to spend the money, as I had given everything I had to my wife, but I knew I had to invest in myself. As soon as the seminar was over, I picked up the payment plan and signed up.
I had continued my journey of healing, and growth, but I was still going through the hardest time of my life, not being able to see my children. However, despite the outside world bearing its full weight on me, I had never been more at peace. This certification is a huge piece to begin living the life I was always meant to live. I can’t express, or communicate the magnitude of change Mindvalley, and Evercoach have had on me thus far. My intuition tells me it’s only the beginning!
I had two choices to make, drown myself in alcohol, drugs, and sex, and probably eventually take my own life, or become an absolute savage for personal growth and development. I chose the latter. I started reading every book I could find on trauma and healing. I started researching Eastern medicine. I started looking for God. I was not going to roll over and die. I was going to be in my children’s life and be a true father to them.
I grew up in violence and chaos, and despite my greatest efforts, I carried that trauma into my chosen family. To compound that trauma, I joined the military and special operations community; eventually deploying 15 times. However, I was not going to let my past define my present and future any longer.
During a research session, I came upon this ceremonial medicine called Ayahuasca. I was never the type to try this type of healing because of the “hippie” stigma. But desperate times called for desperate measures. To my disappointment, every website I found said there were no ceremonies being held in the US because of the Covid-19 pandemic. I was disappointed but just kept searching for other growth opportunities.
No more than a week later, I received a Facebook message from an old Army buddy who I deployed with several times. We had largely lost contact, but he had started a non-profit organization called the Wounded Healer Project, and upon seeing a post about his work I donated a small amount to it (what I could pull together). Despite the small donation amount, he reached out and thanked me. We started talking and shortly after he told me how the sacred plant medicine Ayahuasca changed his whole life. I immediately perked up and told him I had just done some research about it while I was searching for healing. The universe knew exactly what I needed because he told me his friend held ceremonies in Colorado and there was one coming up, he was planning on attending, and he would get me a spot.
About a month later, in November, I flew to Colorado. It was great to see my friend again, and I could immediately see he was different. He had brightness about him, and I could see and feel his energy. This was a fraction of what I was about to experience. I attended a two-day ceremony; I won’t go into all the details in this short story, but my life was forever and unequivocally changed.
I describe it as the impenetrable vault I had locked myself away in from the inside out, was not only opened, but it was like a nuclear warhead hit it directly in the center, and absolutely obliterated it. I was alive, for what I can definitively say, the first time. I felt so much love I was overwhelmed. This experience supercharged my desire to continue my healing and growth.
As is the way of the universe, or what I now call God, very shortly after arriving home I was unwinding for the day by scrolling through Facebook and saw a video from a company called Mindvalley. It described a program called the Silva Ultramind. I was so intrigued I bit the bullet, pulled out my credit card, and became a yearly member. The program quite simply changed my view on consciousness. It was another huge shift in my life and opened me further to a world I had never believed.
I can’t explain why Facebook was used so much in this journey, because I had never been a social media person. I had only created the account after my wife left me. I hadn’t had any social media for more than seven years. But once again, as I was scrolling through, I saw the Mindvalley video for a life coach certification course. I attended the seminar that explained what it was, and I just knew I had found my life purpose.
Before this, I was simply chasing titles and money, and I was successful in the career paths I had chosen, but I was never fulfilled. It was hard for me to spend the money, as I had given everything I had to my wife, but I knew I had to invest in myself. As soon as the seminar was over, I picked up the payment plan and signed up.
I had continued my journey of healing, and growth, but I was still going through the hardest time of my life, not being able to see my children. However, despite the outside world bearing its full weight on me, I had never been more at peace. This certification is a huge piece to begin living the life I was always meant to live. I can’t express, or communicate the magnitude of change Mindvalley, and Evercoach have had on me thus far. My intuition tells me it’s only the beginning!