I am continuing counseling since end of 2016 after my Mom died (Nov 2015); when I resigned my job and retired. I had 4 alcoholic fathers; the 3rd escorted my Mom into a room we were not allowed in (7 kids that family, 3 of us from my Mom). This meant I had no access to my Mom from 10-16 years old. Being the oldest of the 5 girls, I grocery shopped, cooked 5 days a week, cleaned, ironed, etc. (7 kids ate together, parents ate together by themselves (better meals) away from us) except Sundays when we all 9 ate together. We were not allowed to talk unless allowed; judged and punished without the facts. My sister & I were punished for some of the deeds done by others (his children), & severe mental and medium physical abuse & food used as punishment too during those 6 years. My real father almost killed my Mom and brother has mental issues along with me & my sister being co-dependent. After my Mom's death ( & 2 knee replacements, 4 surgeries on Left Shoulder (Staff Infection & Left Shoulder Temporary Replacement to last rest of life) which is very limiting to my normal very physical life previously, I became depressed. I have been very successful all my life and blessed with a beautiful daughter. I wanted to die as a child, and always told myself "No man is going to starve or beat me"! I have learned to cry silently...actually weep sometimes. Need to let go of so much negative from past and never had the time untill I retired; I have so many sad and lonely feelings (even felt suicidal at one point).
The "Uncompromised Life" Masterclass with Marisa Peer has quickened the pace of my emotional healing journey, as I practice the tools I have learned from her. Tools I've learned to use the most are: To tell myself "I AM ENOUGH"!"; and "Praise Myself" in order to learn to love and accept myself. This is an ongoing process as I have hundreds of emotional memories I was never allowed to deal with or talk about. I have learned that I project onto my husband a lot, which unconsciously depresses me and makes me feel unloved. I now realize this is coming from my own negative self-talk. Before, I was NOT aware of all my self-criticism/neg. thoughts, or where they came from. Marisa has taught me to keep learning & "Choosing" - to BREATH, and Use Powerful POSITIVE Mind Statements. This is probably the BEST Tool I've learned from Marisa: I now just choose to do what I don't want to do first in the day - and that Really makes the rest of the day "Feel Good!!!" to me (less likely to start negative thinking). I have un-consciously practiced some of your Praise techniques with my daughter, but not myself...until now and it helps a lot to start praising myself instead of saying "I haven't done enough"... I struggled with the last 2 modules because of the long list of things that need to be written down. I will continue to work on these with my counselor. I am just now learning which feelings I am feeling (allowing myself to "Feel") and how to deal with them. This is a difficult process because of the severe negative feelings that arise (For example: feeling guilty because I did not have the courage to accept the punishment I would get to sneak to where my Mom might be to tell her my 3rd father was starving my real sister for 3 days - while I was forced to eat 9 meals ( no more or less, and sometimes beaten when asking to have water with meals)...etc.). Watched sooo many beatings!!! Am still Learning to let go of responsibilities and feelings that were not mine, and letting go of taking on helping everyone else but me. I didn't realize I had abandonment issues from 2nd father kicking us out after he fell for another woman, and not being able to get to my mother for 6 years (except a few times for a few seconds). Anyway, I am well on my way to self-healing, as many in the world are.
This course was well worth the money. I now have many more tools to use that I learned from Marisa -Thank You!!! I pray for all peoples of the world - in Jesus Name - Amen.
The "Uncompromised Life" Masterclass with Marisa Peer has quickened the pace of my emotional healing journey, as I practice the tools I have learned from her. Tools I've learned to use the most are: To tell myself "I AM ENOUGH"!"; and "Praise Myself" in order to learn to love and accept myself. This is an ongoing process as I have hundreds of emotional memories I was never allowed to deal with or talk about. I have learned that I project onto my husband a lot, which unconsciously depresses me and makes me feel unloved. I now realize this is coming from my own negative self-talk. Before, I was NOT aware of all my self-criticism/neg. thoughts, or where they came from. Marisa has taught me to keep learning & "Choosing" - to BREATH, and Use Powerful POSITIVE Mind Statements. This is probably the BEST Tool I've learned from Marisa: I now just choose to do what I don't want to do first in the day - and that Really makes the rest of the day "Feel Good!!!" to me (less likely to start negative thinking). I have un-consciously practiced some of your Praise techniques with my daughter, but not myself...until now and it helps a lot to start praising myself instead of saying "I haven't done enough"... I struggled with the last 2 modules because of the long list of things that need to be written down. I will continue to work on these with my counselor. I am just now learning which feelings I am feeling (allowing myself to "Feel") and how to deal with them. This is a difficult process because of the severe negative feelings that arise (For example: feeling guilty because I did not have the courage to accept the punishment I would get to sneak to where my Mom might be to tell her my 3rd father was starving my real sister for 3 days - while I was forced to eat 9 meals ( no more or less, and sometimes beaten when asking to have water with meals)...etc.). Watched sooo many beatings!!! Am still Learning to let go of responsibilities and feelings that were not mine, and letting go of taking on helping everyone else but me. I didn't realize I had abandonment issues from 2nd father kicking us out after he fell for another woman, and not being able to get to my mother for 6 years (except a few times for a few seconds). Anyway, I am well on my way to self-healing, as many in the world are.
This course was well worth the money. I now have many more tools to use that I learned from Marisa -Thank You!!! I pray for all peoples of the world - in Jesus Name - Amen.