"I enrolled in this quest is because I am feeling lost and have been for a long time"

The reason I enrolled in this quest is because I am feeling lost and have been for a long time. Many years ago, a man from India offered to read my palm. The reading he gave was very insightful and had always stuck with me. One of the things he said was that something big would happen in my life. However, he did not elaborate on what this was, and yet I chose to believe it had to be positive. Over time, I felt I was still waiting for it to manifest, but of the major things that happened, none resonated as the right big thing. I left a marriage, travelled, moved to another country to be with someone new and am now single again. I often feel that I make a lot of mistakes and feel as though I have been knocked down over and over again. I know that I am very hard on myself and my good friends say that I do not see the person that they see. I am older now and do not wish to face my next birthday like this. To do this, I need to learn to give to myself and not be afraid of happiness. I know it isn't happiness I fear, but the disappointments that I have been taught to expect so this I really need to face and change.