From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I knew what kind of parent I wanted to be to my daughter, the kind of relationship I wanted us to have, a deep sense of intuition about the person I’d like her to become, what type of school she would attend etc. I had it all planned out....so far so good...but reality also hit me.
I felt very excited while being pregnant, only until after the baby was born I felt nothing! And I felt nothing for a long time, it tore me up inside, the feelings I had are inexplainable.
It took me about 2 years to deeply love and bond with my daughter. I didn’t regret having her, I didn’t feel sad or depressed, I felt no connection whatsoever, the only feeling I had was a feeling of protection. I was very protective of her and this was the only thing I had to hold onto that allowed me to know that I did love her.
However, while feeling this way I still wanted to best for my daughter and the best relationship for us and I’ve been very good so far. However, my obsession is not Turning out like my mum, not hurting my daughter the way my mum hurt me, not raising my daughter in the same toxic environment I grew up in.
So far so good, but I also realize that I am an impatient person, an impatient parent. I also notice that I am intolerant and I often allow my anger and frustration, sometimes with life and my own stresses to get the best of me and I take it out on her by shouting or otherwise. I realize that some part of me lies my mother, not in the same way but if I am not careful and I don’t change my ways I can hurt my daughter the same way my mum hurt me.....just in a different way.
With all that being said I am happy to be a part of the Conscious Parenting Quest because I realize that there are something in me that I need to change to live up to what I promise my daughter and myself. I didn’t even know conscious parenting existed until I stumbled across a Mindvalley webinar a few days ago.
I now have a brighter future to look forward to with my Aniyah.
Thanks to Dr. Shefali and the founders of Mindvalley for having such an impact on my life when I felt so low for the first time in my life.
I felt very excited while being pregnant, only until after the baby was born I felt nothing! And I felt nothing for a long time, it tore me up inside, the feelings I had are inexplainable.
It took me about 2 years to deeply love and bond with my daughter. I didn’t regret having her, I didn’t feel sad or depressed, I felt no connection whatsoever, the only feeling I had was a feeling of protection. I was very protective of her and this was the only thing I had to hold onto that allowed me to know that I did love her.
However, while feeling this way I still wanted to best for my daughter and the best relationship for us and I’ve been very good so far. However, my obsession is not Turning out like my mum, not hurting my daughter the way my mum hurt me, not raising my daughter in the same toxic environment I grew up in.
So far so good, but I also realize that I am an impatient person, an impatient parent. I also notice that I am intolerant and I often allow my anger and frustration, sometimes with life and my own stresses to get the best of me and I take it out on her by shouting or otherwise. I realize that some part of me lies my mother, not in the same way but if I am not careful and I don’t change my ways I can hurt my daughter the same way my mum hurt me.....just in a different way.
With all that being said I am happy to be a part of the Conscious Parenting Quest because I realize that there are something in me that I need to change to live up to what I promise my daughter and myself. I didn’t even know conscious parenting existed until I stumbled across a Mindvalley webinar a few days ago.
I now have a brighter future to look forward to with my Aniyah.
Thanks to Dr. Shefali and the founders of Mindvalley for having such an impact on my life when I felt so low for the first time in my life.