"My life is more valuable to the (n)th degree than these awards, titles, licenses,etc"

I had such a powerful experience doing the Creating a Power Statement Practice. I built off of that "don't waste their time" belief which expands out to "so I stay silent, quiet, small, reserved, do not show up fully" Located that in my stomach and heart and throat as tightness or a knotted feeling. Properly naming: People do not want to spend time with me just to spend time with me. There has to be some additional layer, sharing a meal, drinking together, going to a movie, meeting about a project, spiritual growth, etc. Although sometimes mutual, this is my belief. Also, "I must achieve or do to be of value" This came up for me during my childhood (elementary school years) when my parents decided to buy a house in Palmdale. We were disconnected from family in LA due to distance and things just fell apart in many ways. My parents both turned to drink and I was left alone emotionally most of the time. The visualization of the energy was the most interesting part for me. I saw my glow and shine hidden under a facade of accomplishments, awards, licenses, etc. At first I saw the glow as my "not enough" or negative energy hiding behind the accomplishments. But after the break state (I am smart, wise, a fast learner, able to speak up if I want, able to face fears without shrinking if I want, strong, helpful, love to help others, good at creating, painting, designing, thinking of solutions, laughing, etc...) and when I went to speak to my child self, I blew up and that glow was the real me. I expanded my glowing warm energy to cover the whole home and front and back yards of my childhood home so that anywhere my past self was as a child, she would feel love and feel safe and not alone, no matter what my parents were doing. The real truth is that my parents and family members loved me and love me SO MUCH, they just did not know how to show it in a way that a child aged me could understand. My parents were not emotionally present, they were distracted. Everyone around me loved me so much I just did not know it. My power statement is " I was always loved unconditionally and will always be loved unconditionally." How this translated into my pattern of past relationships is that they always loved me a lot but either did not show it in a way that I needed/ wanted/ understand/ can accept. The issue is that I do not know how to communicate to them that I need to be shown love in a way that I can understand. This is why I jumped into relationships so quickly before qualifying them. I craved affection because I was lacking it so much. My final realization was that I am more expansive, interesting, valuable, amazing, better than/ more than my achievements. I am a miracle as I am without these accomplishments. This is really the first time I have FELT this. I have intellectualized it before, heard it, said it, read it, listened to meditations and hypnosis about this, but never truly felt it. I always had a voice in the back of my head saying "really though?" and "but you have accomplished some amazing things, you should be proud of them" but this thought is at the expense of my unconditional value. I just broke through that block and I truly feel that I am amazing without those titles. My life is more valuable to the (n)th degree than these awards, titles, licenses, etc.