"I want to get a point where this isn’t a struggle"

The reason il taking the Quest is I am bipolar n have come out of a very looong depression. I am no longer depressed. I know to realize my dreams I need to do inner n outer work like exercise, journaling, gratitude, visualization, mantras, n reading n learning, all of the things that have served me in the past and brought out the very best of me. I have a therapist n coach, but have not managed to get up early n do all of these life enriching things. Even when I’m up early n I think of excercising I chose the security of my bed. N i fall asleep then I get up full of regret n self loathing. I don’t understand why I do this. Maybe I’m afraid of what greatness may come. I have managed to get up every now n then n I feel so good n proud. I want to get a point where this isn’t a struggle but rather something I look forward to n automatically. I deserve that n I know all the good I will experience it because of it. I want n know I have sooo much more to offer myself, my family n friends n the world.