"I am so thankful for the “trigger” as I am aware that I have more processing and healing to do"

“Do you want to die young? That was the question I asked myself a little over nine years ago. After a lifetime of yo-yo dieting, I finally decided to wake the bleep up. At forty-three years old, I had five years of experience with type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, and sleep apnea. In addition, I have a repeated history of depression, I felt defeated and really had given up hope of ever feeling good again. I was settling into “old age” and accepted that I was going to be morbidly obese, weighing 252 plus pounds for the remainder of my life. After all, “it was in my genes” and I had always been obese. But I had not totally given up. I was a daily two-mile walker for the past 23 years and practiced yoga on a regular basis. I faithfully worked with my doctors, specialists and dietitian to keep my diseases managed in an appropriate manner. I was on four different medications and slept with a CPAP machine to help assist with my sleep apnea. Then, I became a vegetarian and ramped up my exercise. As my weight continued to drop, my level of energy skyrocketed. I did not have a trace of depression. No longer did I wake in a fog, feel sick to my stomach or have a feeling of despair. I was alive and happy. After about six months, I was feeling so good that I decided to join a gym and start running. I always hated running and criticized people who ran thinking that it is bad for them, they will ruin their bodies. Hmm, what I needed to do was look in the mirror and realize that I was ruining my body by eating an American diet and getting minimal exercise. After a few months, I reversed my type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, and depression. My cholesterol was lower than it had been on 40mg of a popular statin drug. And, finally after about 18 months, I was able to reverse my sleep apnea. As my physical condition improved I turned inward to do a lot of healing. As I did so, I came to realize that my high school sweet heart was no longer the best match for me. Therefore, last year I ended a 32-year marriage. I am very grateful for all the years we had together. And, the very best gift I ever received was our daughter, Kirsten. I continue to struggle with unresolved grief. Most recently, my ex-husband became engaged to a “perfect” woman. This sent me reeling emotionally. However, I am so thankful for the “trigger” as I am aware that I have more processing and healing to do. Today, at fifty-two years old, I physically feel better than I did in my twenties and live free from any medications. My energy is sky high as I continue to eat well and exercise. I just finished the Tempe Half Ironman in October 2020. And, I am looking forward having my emotional well being match or exceed my physical well-being.