Before this program I suppressed the worst event of my life where two unacceptable responses to the most severe event were placed before me. Unable to discern an alternate move, one response-decision ensued. My despair, beyond words, left me utterly devastated. I wished not to breathe— the emotional pain was fire. My non-action action, paralyzed by circumstances and family around me caused me to carry regret, self- blame, and self-condemnation for years. It also greatly complicated what would have been normal mourning for the terrible event. Opportunity to extend my intense love and support became blocked and frozen. This heavy weight, so foreign to my true, happy, spiritualized self, manifested in intense non-forgiveness of self— although I easily forgive others. This course forced me to face this suppressed, painful thing from years ago with its continual “should have” accusations.
The course instructions suggest the following when the problem is self-forgiveness. See your younger, former self. The logic of turning myself into my younger self — something like my own little sister, reading the charge, feeling the horror, withdrawing the emotions, reviewing the situation with my complex past thoughts and emotions, enabled me to feel compassion for this younger self.
The forgiveness scene was one of the worst moments of that time, flat on the floor in utter despair. I moved in on this with my older, wiser self as if an angel with wings in love, and I covered over my shaking past self in stillness. That scene then evaporated and was sent up into the Universe. This major-surgery-forgiveness coupled with the other five phases and practicing meditation every morning is healing and restorative. It has enabled me to give the gift of forgiveness to myself as i so naturally do to others.
The course instructions suggest the following when the problem is self-forgiveness. See your younger, former self. The logic of turning myself into my younger self — something like my own little sister, reading the charge, feeling the horror, withdrawing the emotions, reviewing the situation with my complex past thoughts and emotions, enabled me to feel compassion for this younger self.
The forgiveness scene was one of the worst moments of that time, flat on the floor in utter despair. I moved in on this with my older, wiser self as if an angel with wings in love, and I covered over my shaking past self in stillness. That scene then evaporated and was sent up into the Universe. This major-surgery-forgiveness coupled with the other five phases and practicing meditation every morning is healing and restorative. It has enabled me to give the gift of forgiveness to myself as i so naturally do to others.