"Now, I realized I am the problem myself as I built up so much negativity"

I have always sub-consciously blamed myself for failing to get into Oxbridge though I managed to read law at Asia's best law school. I then blamed myself for not being counseled at younger age as to how to get myself to work for a branded global investment bank. There is constantly putting down of myself has taken atoll on myself. I finished my doctoral degree 8 years ago just to pacify myself for my failures. Now, I hate my job and look at my boss and peers with disdain for they seem lazy and machiavellian. Now, I realized I am the problem myself as I built up so much negativity and garnered such little esteem of myself. I want the table to be turned on myself. I now want to build my own e-business and attain financial independence within the end 2020.