I became more aware of my patterns and also how much my fears were still controlling my reactions. I reminded myself how to pause in the moment and observer the is-ness. I’ve learned to be more aware to what I am thinking and feeling. I also learned that I need to let go of control and over our children and my husband, so they can learn from their own mistakes. And not try to protect them from everything bad and fix everything.
It has been hard but eye-opening to start to see our children as our spiritual companions and teachers. And it has been tough to realise that I was dependent of approval and love from my children and husband, because I could not give it to myself. My deep need of being needed, heard, understood and appreciated for who I am can not be filled by them. Now I know that it has to come from within and I am working on it.... .
Also I had to look into the mirror and admit to myself that I need to stop projecting onto my kids and husband. I need to take responsibility for my own life and drop expeditions and the role of victim that I sometime put onto myself. To be more kind, loving, patient and forgiving towards others, but mostly to myself.
Every moment is a chance to do things differently, more conscious and better! And not to take everything so seriously and try to laugh more and be more in present moment!